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I want to be like most girls



This $50 mermaid dress is elegant and one of those dresses that remains timeless and looks good on every woman. Pear shaped? Yes, this is for you. Curvy? Yes, this is for you. Petite and flat chested (me)? Yes, this is for us. Tall and athletic? Yes, this is for you.

I wore this to the opening night at the Ballet in SF. I was giving out my Instagram all night. Women of all ages asked me about my dress. And when I said it was from Amazon, their eyebrows went up and down (or at least for some they tried to move them up and down) and I could see the painful realization that I wasn’t joking form on their face. Once we talked a bit more, they overcame their distrust of me and decided I was part of society. Meaning, they gave in and asked where they could find the dress. Alas, I send them my Instagram and the rest is history. Every woman loves to save money on clothes.

I had a heart to heart with another girl about how she felt regret and guilt about buying a $500 dress for this event. She’s single and she was hoping that tonight could be the night she meets Mr. Right. Now that it was almost midnight and she didn’t meet anyone, the guilt of the expensive dress was setting in. I completely understand that feeling. You think maybe if I try extra hard tonight, tonight will be the night. I’ll find “that” person. Been there, felt that. I assured her that she would wear her expensive dress again and it wasn’t a waste. She looked magnificent in it too. “You know what is a waste?” , I said. Feeling unworthy because of your relationship status. If she met someone, the dress would have been worth it in her mind. But, she didn’t meet anyone, and now she feels unworthy of the dress.  Of course, we all want to feel fuzzy inside and to be loved. How about, instead of setting expectations for everything we do, we do things for ourselves and not because we want to meet “that” person. Once I started doing things that I wanted to do, I was less and less disappointed with the outcome. I wanted to be at the ballet because I love dressing up and I love ballet.  At the end of the event, I was fulfilled because I got to dress up and see world class ballerinas. The part where we feel guilty about things doesn’t happen as much if we remove certain expectations and pressures we put on ourselves. Of course, it is easier said than done. I think it’s a good test to ask yourself why you are doing something. Being honest with yourself is only a good thing. Maybe if we were honest about the fact that we never do things for us, we would make more time for those things. You can better manage your time if you fight for it.

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